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| The author, front, seen with his don pants. |
- Name: Scott <REDACTED>
- Age: n, where n is a non-zero value expressed by an integer whose digits add up to nine.
- Occupation: Student, researcher (pending)
- Favorite Book: Nineteen Eighty-Four, The Year of Dreaming Dangerously
- Favorite TV Show: The Middleman, Doctor Who, Star Trek: TNG
- Favorite Movie: Duck Soup, God Bless America, and any left-leaning documentary
- Political Leanings: I am now ideologically incompatible with any one political alignment.
- Favorite Constitutional Amendment: 3.
- Favorite Smell: Old book
- Favorite Video Game: Pokémon Red, or House of Crisis (I'm biased, I made it.) Or Minecraft. Tons of Minecraft.
- Pet Peeve: A lack of evidence to support a claim.
- Favorite Play: King Lear
- Best Pony: Fluttershy
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